time to call BS!!

well it seems the time has come for me to call BS out on Mr. Parker. He had the nerve to text me tonight saying that all I was out for was money in regards to my son Kaden.  UMM excuse me?? you douche bag. I have paid for EVERYTHING for Kaden since before he was born. I bought the diapers, formula, clothes, crib, sheets, wipes etc etc when he was a baby. I paid for all the doctor's appointments and missed work for them. I have paid for daycare for Kaden since the day he started daycare.  You Donny Parker have not ever paid for anything.  You don't buy him clothes when he out grows them, you don't buy him underwear or pull-ups. You don't buy his medicines when he is sick.
I am beyond pissed at the nerve of that deadbeat to say I only want money, yeah you getting off your A@@ and paying for your son like you pay for your other 2 kids would be nice.  I find it laughable that he wants to have everyone believing he pays for all his kids the same through all his "deductions" well I can assure you that his "deductions" DOES NOT include Kaden Hunter Simmons!!  Some men are such losers that they can't recognize when someone is trying to do right and not force the issue of child support and say just help pay what you can.  It doesn't matter that the  responsiblity for Kaden is mine alone. But I tried to be nice and reasonable about it.  But no that wasn't good enough for him.

it's been awhile......

well it has been awhile since I wrote anything.  A couple of weeks ago "he" just showed up out of the blue, which led to a horrible fight.  He was violent again.  For the first time I was really scared. I really thought I was going to be hurt, something about being choked till you almost pass out will do that for you.  A police report was filed. I was so sick at my stomach about what to do. I didn't want him to go to jail, but I wanted him to get help for his issues.  I don't feel the same anymore. I don't feel love anymore. I just want him to go away. He can't give me what I want and what I need.  I made the hard decision a day or so ago that he needs to stay out of Kaden's life for good. If, he can't treat Kaden the same as his other children he just doesn't need to be involved in Kaden's life. I think the back and forth and around Kaden one day and gone for a week or longer isn't good for Kaden.  Plus it isn't fair to him. It is going to be tough but I know it is for the best. In time Kaden will realize how things are. He is already so smart he knows that when he calls his dad he won't answer and he won't call him back. How sad that at 3 year's old he realizes this.
I know I am tired of being alone. But I know it is going to take time to heal myself from all the damage that has been done these last couple of years.  I still have my very bad nights where I just cry all night long, but I know I have to stay strong for my kids. We need to be in a healthy safe enviroment free from mental, verbal and physical abuse.