Last night was a pretty difficult night...just thinking of all the time I have wasted and for what. To be attached to kids I won't see again. To have lived the last few yhears as a lie. It sucks so bad to be lied to, but it sucks even more knowing you didn't mean enough to someone to be told the truth. All I do is work, come home, feed kids, do homework, get kids ready for bed. It just seems so much responsiblity is piled high on my plate. But Donny can come and go as he pleases. He has 0 responsibility for Kaden. Being the one that is always responsible sometimes sucks. Sometimes I want to go out and have fun. Sometimes I don't want to have to rush to daycare and have to rush home to do homework with the kids. It seems the more you do, the more people want to take from you. It isn't enough that I spent my entire pregnancy alone. But now I am raising Kaden alone. Instead of the respect that I deserve for pulling my weight and his weight. It is all about bashing Jennifer for this and that. Jennifer is a this and that. Nevermind the fact that I pay for all of daycare and everything else. Just so sick and tired of doing everything and getting crap for it.
Someday I will find a man that cares for me as much as I care for him. A man that respects me for the person I am and all that I bring to the table....but then sometimes I wonder how will I ever find someone when all I do is work and come home. 95% of my time is spent with at least 1 of my kids.....UGH!!! Maybe tonight I will sleep and all the pain won't be as bad tonight.
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